Wednesday, September 05, 2007 - SABOTAGE QUEEN
okay, i have such a bad night. during evening, i gave April a call just to tell her i miss her. then, afetr that, i'm off to dinner with Mom, Dad & Sis. you know, my phone speakers is spoiled. hence, i can receive calls but is unable to talk on the phone because people on the other line can hear me, but i can't hear them.


just leave me a message & i'll get back to you! so yes, after dinner, i went down to the usual concrete steps area to look for the bunch of people. Yinru, Baya, Yaya was there. after that, i leave the guys for a little while & went to the handphone shop because Dad actually mentioned about trading in my phone. i was seriously very disappointed. i don't want anything too fanciful, i don't want anything too expensive. i have to think about Dad, you know? 'cos after all, i'm not the one paying for it. you know all my MP3s, my MP4, my digital camera is all paid by him! my computer, my 3-in-one function printer-scanner-photocopier is all paid by him!

anything i have, is all his money, he earned them! so there's no excuse for me not to think about him. if in any situation i did not have to think for Dad & put myself in his shoes, then may lightning struck me. i mean it. so back to the handphone thing. it's just that, my sister was there encouraging them not to get a new phone for me. for goodness sake, i can receive calls but there's no point answering the calls because i can't hear what people are saying over at the other line!

hence, it's either i get the phone fixed, or get a new one! but i see how my parents changed their mind, it makes me feel totally defeated. i see the smug expression on my sister's face, & i know how my efforts' going to down the drain if i am going to tell Dad not to listen to her. but it's going to be all over because she always have this particular thinking -

"i'm the youngest, i can do anything i want & will go unpunished."

that's it! so you have any idea how defeated i feel? not because of the phone itself, but because a lot of sabotages have been going on around the family itself. my sister sabotage this to my parents about me. my sister sabotage that to my parents about me. all these aren't lame, all these are crazy! all i want to ever tell my parents is to believe in me. shut. people tell you these, & you seriously believe them rather than to believe me? by doing this, is no difference from giving me a death sentence.

i felt like calling Yinru & April, but their number were all in my handphone. & my pathetic handphone was with Dad! i can't call them to cry or what already!

i think i'm going to bed soon. sigh. bye, y'all.

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

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He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

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So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

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He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into...

layout: lyricaltragedy
icon: threemoresteps
inspiration: fruitstyle

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