Tuesday, July 10, 2007 - PLEASE DON'T GO AWAYi had a bad day, & i feel so sucky right now. imagine you're a mother, you found a forbidden item in your child's bag. how would you react? let's just say. probably a cigarette, some weird pills, or even a condom? :/ come on, i can't think of any stuffs that you'd fear that your mom might found in your bag.
however, i came home, & everything was fine. i got dressed up, & went to fetch my sister from school. i came home, & Mummy suddenly asked me in a serious tone, why did i have the stuff in my bag? i was really really speechless, i know what she was talking about. i don't know how to explain myself. i feel really regretful, but i know that whatever i said, will not erase off her doubts about what i have in my bag. she sound really angry because i can't even touch her, let alone getting near her.
i'm really scared. i'm really sorry & apologetic, that i drop to my knees. crying, i say whatever to convince her that things weren't what it seems like. i feel confused. & then, someone make me realise that i look like a emotional mess. after when everything was okay, i took a great look at myself in the mirror. i saw messy girly ponytails, smudged eyeliners & mascaras from all the crying. what a mess i look, inside & outside. i tidied myself up before i told Mummy my apologies, & seriously thanked her for keeping this from Daddy. she knows, that if Daddy were to know, i'd be chased out of the house. then, i proceed to hug her, really tight. i have manage to convince her! yes!
who knows, it might be even more serious, right? if Mummy were to give up on me, probably everyone around me would. if someone i loved so much like her were to leave me, probably everyone around me would do the same. Avril Lavigne's Innocence keeps playing in my mind. i can't get it out of my head, i wished i was like before. you know, innocent, not a know-it-all. there's a lot of things that i know, that i shouldn't ought to know in the first place. there's people, i wished i have got to know sooner. & there's also people, i wished i didn't even get to know. all have yet to fall into place, yeah.
profileDrew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause
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wishlistHe's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
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tagboardSo I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
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affiliatesHe's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into...
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