i don't know what's wrong with me, i keep thinking about my poor results & school. i need to buck up a lot of stuffs, you know? like, if i keep going at this pace, i won't be able to get into Secondary 5 & will have to go to ITE. i mean, ITE is actually a good idea because i know quite a lot of people actually find the courses they wanted in ITE. however, what worries me the most is that i've been failing like fuck. i need to improve my English & Chinese further so that the rest of the subjects i'm weak in won't be dragged down as well.

i need to start getting interested in subjects like Social Studies & Physics. i used to be really good in Geography, but not any longer & i don't know why. i need to buck up on Biology because Mr Chandra's the one who keep telling me that i did improve. i just got really demoralised about everything. i'm not trying to say i lack motivation, but sometime, i really felt that way. thanks to some people, who have always been supporting me & pushing me on. thanks Mummy, Daddy & many loved ones.

from this moment onwards, every voice that told you "you can't" is silenced. every reasons that tell you things will never change, disappears. & the person you were before this moment, that person's turn is over. now it's your turn.

abstracted & quoted from the film, Freedom Writers.

i don't wanna be disappointed in myself anymore. i feel like, i'm going to do just that. so anyway, i got dressed to meet April earlier, then went out of the house. i was making my way to her house to spend a lazy afternoon there to get away from home, when she called & said she's out. then, make one big turn to get home, & i ran, hide, cry because i saw somebody that really freaks me out. i ran up a flight of stairs before running to this dark corner, covering my mouth with my hands. yeah, screwed the makeup because i was crying like fuck. )': i will be having dinner at Thomson Plaza with Mummy & Daddy later on!