Monday, March 17, 2008 - A NEW BLOG POST TO START WITH

Thursday, November 29, 2007 - MISTAKES
oi made a terrible mistake yesterday, probably out of complete madness. when i was caught, my heart sank right to my ankles. i thought i can feel my legs & probably my ass as well. no one had any idea. & to that one special person, i'm sorry our day is spoiled. i'm sorry that things turned out like that. the fact is, i'm in it as well. i'm sorry i wasn't a good friend, sort of. i called a lot of people up for help.

i called up Godmom, Jonathon, Terrence, Susan, Heidi, Junjie, Apit & anyone i seriously could think of then. i was shaking, i was so scared then. there's so many incoming calls, & all that fucking old hag can tell me to do was to reject them. i rejected so many of Roslee's, Susan's & Jonathon's calls. then, Dad's number flashed on the mobile screen. i thought my heart skip a beat, & answer it uncertainly. i almost died, i swear. Mom came down to fetch me. i can't tear my eyes off her face, the look of despair & disappointment is everything that i did not ever want to see. i guess she's disappointed because she wasn't the first one that i called for help. but one thing she didn't know, is that when i was caught, she & Dad was all i could think of.

things were even more difficult to handle at home. i could never ever forget the tension & the atmosphere, never. i called up Godmom to cry & i called back Terrence, things still weren't okay. i called up Jonathon, Celine, Roslee & Justin to said that i'm sorry. i made a terrible mistake, i can't erase it away. i won't forget the punches & kicks that Dad threw at me today. never mind the bruises, i know i'm in the wrong & that i have let him down. i just, can't believe what's going on right now. i silently swore, that i don't want anything to do with that place anymore, which can be quite a funny thing.

hey, people make mistakes, don't they? even i did, know. have you ever screwed things up so much that you think there's nothing you can do to make any amentments? well, i do. i do.

Friday, October 26, 2007 - BASKETBALL
the past few days have been awesome, i swear. (: i went to AMK Hub with April honey bunny, & we went to get some hair accessories. i got myself a new head band, & i thought it looks totally fabulous. oh, & she got me a wallet! i love it, i fucking swear. then, off to meet Maria & Baya at half-court.

i got myself changed into FBT shorts at April's house, & then off to play basketball! Maria, April, Fadly, Baya, Kenglong & Raymond could possible be the best basketball campanions ever! hell yeah! i don't hope to grow any taller just by playing basketball, because i know i wouldn't. but i can't wait to play again, if i ever ever did have the chance to get out of the house this week. (:

Saturday, October 20, 2007 - I'VE BEEN BUSY, LATELY
lots & tons of movies are waiting for me to be watch (online), so many things to see to at home. 'cos i wanna make sure that shits don't happen, & it weren't easy. oh, i was out with the girls in town as well.

i was finally out of the house. (: thank god, i had a hard time getting Mom & Dad to agree to it. hectic. i reached April's when it's almost three, then i was told that there's a change of time. :/ then, met up with Roslee to get some ciggies to pass time. but, we still ended up being late because it was raining.

i saw many familiar faces in town. (: sigh, being home late means endless nagging from parents. whatever, i'm starting to get used to it, already. oh, & out of the sudden, Mom got my hair dyed a deep reddish-purple. &...


besides, i also got a new set of coloured contact lenses, which Dad brought for me earlier on. new stuffs, new this, new that, i love it.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007 - IT'S FEELING HOT IN HERE


yes, a fire have already devoured the whole of my neighbourhood's market & food center. people was like, already crowding by the road area there when me & Mom decided to get some breakfast this morning. i guess this fire is the hottest topic in the neighbourhood now.

the fire started last night, & according to Dad (who was nearby when the fire started), it was spreading fast. my heart goes out to all the stallholders, it must be a great loss. the whole entire market was in ruins.

"hey, is there anyone killed in the fire anot?"
"got quite a number, you know, about 200 or 300 lives gone, just like that."
"really eh? really anot?"
"neh, got those fishes, chickens, pork & crabs in the market. all die already loh."

"market's being burned down just like that. you next time no need go buy veggies already."
"yeah! i no need to cook already, probably for the next 2 years!"
"you serious uh?"
"the whole family can eat plain porridge & canned food then." -laugh out loud.


that's mom, she can basically joke about anything.

okay, i just bitch with my friend on MSN. it's short, but it's fucking hilarious, i swear. she just bitch to me about who she saw & stuffs like that. yeah, it's pretty entertaining. those sluts can kiss my arse already, i don't care. since that cock-sucking bitch's sooooo good at sucking up to people, she can do so anyway, i won't give a damn about it. hey girl, you can suck up right up her ass, i still don't give a hoot.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007 - LETTING MY TEARS COME
the past few days have been pretty bad, yeah. i was home for almost the whole entire week. take that, will you? see if you can beat me to it. (: well, i called April up when it's about past 11, i cried. after i hang up, it then hit me, "hey, i finally memorised her mobile number!"

*pats on my own back.*

i spend my weekend at Granny's house, Jurong. Justin's there, & we had breakfast together. he's a darling, he poses & make faces when asked to be taken a photo with. i love it.

after a long day, was home, once again. i feel tired & i wanna go out badly. i miss the girls, i miss everyone. okay, maybe not everyone. well, you know what. i don't miss school.


yeah, not at all. i remembered, having a hard time this year. new class, new friends, new this, new that, everything seems new to me. i don't remember having a day in which i really enjoyed myself. i'm not indicating anything, but there's gonna be people somewhere here & there having a hard time. & some people just don't understands & makes it worst! i remember my sweet 16 this year, the worst image is kept, locked away somewhere in the bottom of my heart. i can only let little people know what happened.

you know, sometimes, it does you no good to let (certain) people know too much about you. no good at all. i do let people know about me. but if i ever have any doubt about you, i won't think about opening up to you. i just saw the message that Maria let in my mobile, as draft. i know it's meant for me to see, & i cried while reading it to myself silently.

i know i'm being appreciate for all the things that i have done. it's enough, it really is. sometimes, i just feel tired to carry on. i know i cry too much, but i came to know that it's okay. (: i'll just let it water my soul. despite staying at home for the whole week, i actually find it "fruitful" because i get to catch up on a lot of movies that i missed & those i wanted to watch so bad! Brother have given a website full of movies upload & i just find it fantastic! erm, don't ask me about it, he's only sharing it with me! :/ so far, i've watched -
  • 28 days later
  • a cinderella story
  • american pie wedding
  • benchwarmers
  • click
  • date movie
  • disturbia
  • evan almighty
  • final destination, final destination 3
  • freedom writers
  • hostel 2
  • house of wax
  • king kong
  • knocked up
  • material girls
  • mean girls
  • mr woodcock
  • the number 23
  • the pursuit of happyness
  • saw, saw II, saw III
  • spiderman, spiderman II, spiderman III
  • transformers

i know there are a lot of movies above that i have already watched. but so what?! it doesn't kill to watch them again & again! i'm also done with America's Next Top Model Cycle 8 since don't-know-how-many-freaking-months ago & now, i'm catching up well with the Cycle 9 of America's Next Top Model! (: i can't wait to watch more, i am so amazing.

Sunday, October 07, 2007 - FINALLY
because i didn't blog for ages, hell-fucking right?

i'm really sorry, it's all because for the N Level preparation & 1 more paper to go, & i can finally be free! the last paper is Design & Technology, on next Tuesday, so hopefully, i'll try to score as much as possible. (: i asked Dad about me having a job last night, & he just said -


i'm like, "okay, okay, no need so fierce right?" :/ it's not like i'm going to get into some trouble outside & stuffs like that eh. people whom i am close with probably knows that my parents can get all protective, all the time. i'm not very okay with it, because i want to be able to make my own stand & decisions, without having to disagree with it. but Dad & Mom, all i ever wanted, is for you two to be happy with me. i don't know, i just feel that i can never ever be good enough for you.

preparations for N Level was tiring, very very tiring, indeed. i was out almost every night for a week or so, doing revision with Yinru, April, Fadly, Baya, Maria & Ain. (: being home at 10.30 plus means scolding & nagging from parents. i know they care, but a lot have been happening & i didn't want to be rude. i just want some time of my own (with my friends). i mean, i'm going to be a parent someday & i definitely don't want my kids to hang out so late. but come on, dad, don't judge! just because you don't know them, you can't assume that they are bad people!

they are not, so not! in fact, all these while, they have been there at the lowest point of my life for you own daughter - me! so yes, dinner was so uneventful today. i could have burst into tears anytime. but thanks God, i saw Stephrene & Yinru, & waved to me & i practically screamed (for joy) when i saw them.


i miss Justin, i really do. now that my N Level is going to be over soon, one more paper to go, i'm hoping that Justin would make more visits! oh, hopefully, things would go well & shits won't happen, at home. meanwhile, i have fun & joy with many amazing i came to know all along. (:

i have fun, i definitely do. (: besides that, i basically, wanna thank a lot of people for being there for me at the lowest point of my life this year round. like, shitty things happened to me during the month of my birthday this year. i break down & couldn't seems to get myself up on my feet again. but once again, thank you. i won't name you people here, but i think you people know who you are. (: Dad & Mom have been great support. okay, maybe not that great, but firm? :/ well, at least it's you two who taught me how to be a really good person. Yaya's hugs was heartwarming, i'd definitely love to have her to hug me when i was about in the neighbourhood again.

holidays' drawing near for me, i came to realise that are so many people who loves me. fuck self-centered bitches who won't put themselves in other people's shoes. burn in hell then! i can't wait for the last paper to be over. then, i'll have my bangs back (because now, it reaches my nose) & yeah, i gonna make the school-less days amazing.

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

your profile here.

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

your wishlist here.

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

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keep the width within 120.

He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into...

layout: lyricaltragedy
icon: threemoresteps
inspiration: fruitstyle

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